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so there's this store called heb that's only in texas and it's pretty fuckin great, it's like costco except you have to actually drive to costco to get your savings, hebs are fucking everywhere and you have to go out of your way to go to a walmart or whatever. they have a lot of cheap offbrands with wildly varying quality (oh yeah and they crank up the regular brand prices one or two dollars lel for instance corn flakes only comes in the largest non-fuckhuge sam's club size size and costs $5.50) and i've found that you have to check to see where it's from, if it's american that means they make it themselves and if it's from some place like germany or mejico jajajajjaj then it'll suck balls.
you know how i learned to pay attention to where it's from?
fucking 2wisterz (le edgy 1337speek 4 tha kidz!!! =3) taught me.
i swear to god these things were horrible
so me and mom went to heb when i was like 10 and i saw they had a new offbrand lined up next to the oreos ($1 more expensive than usual and the 2wisterz were basically going for chump money, presumably because nobody wanted them) and i was like "hahaha mom come look at this bullshit" and some sales rep comes and tells her that they taste "EXACTLY THE SAME!!! please get the manager's dick out of my ass" so she buys them.
i'm like "no mom are you retarded" and she's like "IT"S CEHAPER!! XD" and so begins it all. i wasn't too unhappy because most of the offbrands are alright or even better than the stock (like twinkies). little did I know this was an exception.
i get home and i'm like "ok let's try this bitch" so i open the packaging (much cheaper than the nabisco stuff btw) and i notice the cookies smell like chicken shit. not even kidding they didn't smell like chocolate, creme, cookies or even the weird shit they put in oreos. i was quite worried but continued. i pick up a cookie as it falls apart in my midget hands and take a bite.
people that have eaten shit, particularly butt fudge lovin fags, say that shit kind of has a flavor of dark chocolate with a little bit of indescribable sweet. that is for the first two seconds until you start stirring it around, then it tastes super bitter and as you imagine poop to taste like, basically how it smells sort of or like really shitty chocolate if you've ever had really shitty chocolate.
that's what the cookie tasted like. not to mention it was chalky, hard and fell apart easy
the creme was hardly even there and tasted like starch or some shit. plastic or cardboard or starch idk
i never touched the package again and it sat unused for like a month before my mom finally decided to toss it and resume buying oreos as freedom triumphed again
7.5/10 ign
you know how i learned to pay attention to where it's from?
fucking 2wisterz (le edgy 1337speek 4 tha kidz!!! =3) taught me.
i swear to god these things were horrible
so me and mom went to heb when i was like 10 and i saw they had a new offbrand lined up next to the oreos ($1 more expensive than usual and the 2wisterz were basically going for chump money, presumably because nobody wanted them) and i was like "hahaha mom come look at this bullshit" and some sales rep comes and tells her that they taste "EXACTLY THE SAME!!! please get the manager's dick out of my ass" so she buys them.
i'm like "no mom are you retarded" and she's like "IT"S CEHAPER!! XD" and so begins it all. i wasn't too unhappy because most of the offbrands are alright or even better than the stock (like twinkies). little did I know this was an exception.
i get home and i'm like "ok let's try this bitch" so i open the packaging (much cheaper than the nabisco stuff btw) and i notice the cookies smell like chicken shit. not even kidding they didn't smell like chocolate, creme, cookies or even the weird shit they put in oreos. i was quite worried but continued. i pick up a cookie as it falls apart in my midget hands and take a bite.
people that have eaten shit, particularly butt fudge lovin fags, say that shit kind of has a flavor of dark chocolate with a little bit of indescribable sweet. that is for the first two seconds until you start stirring it around, then it tastes super bitter and as you imagine poop to taste like, basically how it smells sort of or like really shitty chocolate if you've ever had really shitty chocolate.
that's what the cookie tasted like. not to mention it was chalky, hard and fell apart easy
the creme was hardly even there and tasted like starch or some shit. plastic or cardboard or starch idk
i never touched the package again and it sat unused for like a month before my mom finally decided to toss it and resume buying oreos as freedom triumphed again
7.5/10 ign
